The One Wipe Wonder?

Regardless of whether you scrunch or fold your toilet paper, you will have all experienced a one wipe wonder! You know, you’ve done a no.2, had a good wipe and when you look there is no mark on the toilet paper. This is sometimes known as an ‘Angel poo’.

However, in practice, angel poos never are just one wipe as although there is no mark we cannot trust it. We need to have another wipe just to be sure. So even the most angelic of defecations will require the minimum of two wipes.

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2012 The Year of the Scrunch

2012 is the official year of the Scrunch where scrunchers everywhere can celebrate the joys of scrunching and folders can start to learn and perhaps embrace and appreciate the merits of scrunching.

It is clear from interviews and research that many folders simply do not understand how to do a scrunch and therefore do not understand how this can be an effective method. Scrunching is not just scrunching the paper into a ball, there is a sophistication and art to it. Rather than a ball, the toilet paper is scrunched into a mushroom like shape with your hand holding the stem and protected and cushioned by the head of the mushroom.

The video below demonstrates how to do your basic scrunch (don’t worry no bottoms are involved):

Are you a Scruncher or a Folder? Vote here.

Do you Sit and Stand?

In the ever-continuing search for evidence and understanding of the world of wiping one’s bottom with toilet paper, new information has come to light in the Stander Vs Sitting debate.

Some people sit and lean when they wipe and others stand and squat just above the seat. However, a recent informal focus group has revealed that some people do both. They begin with sitting and leaning and then switch to standing.

The reason some people prefer to sit rather than stand is that although they know you cannot get as good access whilst sitting, they feel there is a danger of poo squishing if they stand up. So, some people do their first wipes whilst sitting and then can stand up for the remainder, knowing the ‘alleged’ risk of squishing is minimal.

Which do you do?

Wiping Efficiency?

A lot of the fold or scrunch debate revolves around which is most efficient.

Wiping efficiency concerns the following:

  • Number of sheets needed
  • Number of wipes needed
  • Speed
  • Ability to re-fold or re-scrunch

Folders often claim that they require less number of sheets than scrunchers and quote the fact that SAS are trained to be folders and to use one sheet only.

Scrunchers must concede that in a combat environment perhaps scrunching is the most efficient use of toilet paper, but argue that it is likely the standard of cleanliness is much higher in everyday life.

The number of sheets used by different folders varies enormously, from a very few who use just one sheet to the most inefficient folders who wrap the paper around their hand.

Scrunchers tend not to use a set amount of sheets each time. They tear off what seems to be an adequate amount of toilet paper to scrunch. As this is so quick to do, Scrunchers state this speed is why scrunching is more efficient than folding.

Both folders and Scrunchers claim their approach requires less wipes as their way enables the practitioner to get a more thorough wipe. Until empirical tests are carried out, we will not know which is best.

A key argument by Folders is that folding enables easy re-folding and thus maximises the use and efficiency of the toilet paper. However, Scrunchers counter-argue by saying a good scrunch will also allow re-scrunching.

The efficiency debate continues ..

The importance of the Scrunch or Fold Debate

The reason why people all over the world are fascinated by the Scunch or Fold Debate is not really because it is rude or to do with poo specifically.

When we go to the bathroom, it is very usually a private moment alone and before people hear of the scrunch or fold difference, they naturally assume that whatever method they have been doing all their life is what everyone else does too. To discover that lots of people do something quite different is both shocking and amazing.

Folding and scrunching are such the antithesis of each other, that folders really cannot comprehend how or why someone would scrunch. Likewise, scrunchers are equally surprised at the number of people who fold and struggle to understand why they would use, in their opinion, an inferior approach.

This is where the debate really gets going as each party tries to argue and reason why their apporach is best and more effective.

It really is an argument of people from completely opposing sides. Srcunchers Vs Folders is like other great fights/debates such asĀ  CommunismVs Capitalism, Cats Vs Dogs, Trojans Vs Greeks, Rocky Balboa Vs Apollo Creed and Good Vs Evil.