Gary Lineker Doesn’t Scrunch or Fold!

I was shocked to discover an amazing revelation about former England Footballer and now BBC TV Presenter Gary Lineker. During the opening England game of the 1990 World Cup against the Republic of Ireland, Gary Lineker had a poo on the pitch during the middle of the game and had no facilities to scrunch or fold, but had to drag his bottom on the grass and use his hands!

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The One Wipe Wonder?

Regardless of whether you scrunch or fold your toilet paper, you will have all experienced a one wipe wonder! You know, you’ve done a no.2, had a good wipe and when you look there is no mark on the toilet paper. This is sometimes known as an ‘Angel poo’.

However, in practice, angel poos never are just one wipe as although there is no mark we cannot trust it. We need to have another wipe just to be sure. So even the most angelic of defecations will require the minimum of two wipes.

Do you Sit and Stand?

In the ever-continuing search for evidence and understanding of the world of wiping one’s bottom with toilet paper, new information has come to light in the Stander Vs Sitting debate.

Some people sit and lean when they wipe and others stand and squat just above the seat. However, a recent informal focus group has revealed that some people do both. They begin with sitting and leaning and then switch to standing.

The reason some people prefer to sit rather than stand is that although they know you cannot get as good access whilst sitting, they feel there is a danger of poo squishing if they stand up. So, some people do their first wipes whilst sitting and then can stand up for the remainder, knowing the ‘alleged’ risk of squishing is minimal.

Which do you do?