Gary Lineker Doesn’t Scrunch or Fold!

I was shocked to discover an amazing revelation about former England Footballer and now BBC TV Presenter Gary Lineker. During the opening England game of the 1990 World Cup against the Republic of Ireland, Gary Lineker had a poo on the pitch during the middle of the game and had no facilities to scrunch or fold, but had to drag his bottom on the grass and use his hands!

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Cooking with Poo

That’s right, there is a cook book out there with lots of recipes for cooking with poo. However, don’t be alarmed, ‘Cooking with Poo’ is written by Bangkok chef Saiyuud Diwong whose nickname is Poo – which is Thai for “crab”. It has won this year’s Diagram Prize for oddest book title of the year.

Poo runs a cookery school for locals and tourists in the city’s largest slum, alongside the charitable organisation that published the book. Anji Barker, a senior social worker at the charity Urban Neighbours of Hope said, “Poo has sold 6,000 books and her classes are fully booked out. She is not just helping to raise her own family out of poverty, but is employing 20 other poor slum residents.”

To find out more, please visit the Cooking with Poo website.

Wiping Efficiency?

A lot of the fold or scrunch debate revolves around which is most efficient.

Wiping efficiency concerns the following:

  • Number of sheets needed
  • Number of wipes needed
  • Speed
  • Ability to re-fold or re-scrunch

Folders often claim that they require less number of sheets than scrunchers and quote the fact that SAS are trained to be folders and to use one sheet only.

Scrunchers must concede that in a combat environment perhaps scrunching is the most efficient use of toilet paper, but argue that it is likely the standard of cleanliness is much higher in everyday life.

The number of sheets used by different folders varies enormously, from a very few who use just one sheet to the most inefficient folders who wrap the paper around their hand.

Scrunchers tend not to use a set amount of sheets each time. They tear off what seems to be an adequate amount of toilet paper to scrunch. As this is so quick to do, Scrunchers state this speed is why scrunching is more efficient than folding.

Both folders and Scrunchers claim their approach requires less wipes as their way enables the practitioner to get a more thorough wipe. Until empirical tests are carried out, we will not know which is best.

A key argument by Folders is that folding enables easy re-folding and thus maximises the use and efficiency of the toilet paper. However, Scrunchers counter-argue by saying a good scrunch will also allow re-scrunching.

The efficiency debate continues ..